Whoops All Clusters

It’s been 2 years, 7 months, and 5 days under the strong and reliable guidance of Dark Brandon, who continues to scare the GOP with things like low unemployment, a growing economy, and controlled inflation. Thankfully, the GOP is here to yell at each other and decide nothing in the meantime.

Other Titles Considered

  • Specialized Rocks
  • Venruski Perogi
  • Specialized Rocks
  • Genderless Wieners

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Moms for Puberty

It’s been 2 years, 6 months, and 29 days enjoying strong, unifying leadership. Sadly, half of the country’s political structure can’t tolerate fair, consistent leadership and are doing everything in their power to undo all the positives in that time.

Other Titles Considered

  • Hurricane Hilary 2024
  • Wurst Hyman
  • Open Floor Plan

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Have No Fap

It’s been 2 years, 6 months, and 22 days under the iron-fisted rule of Dark Brandon, and things are getting weird. Ron deTrainsontime is determined to make a fool on himself on the campaign trail, the GOP front runner continues to find new and exciting ways to be indicted, and Hunter Biden’s laptop is evidently tainted.

Other Titles Considered

  • Actively Killing Children
  • Do the Durham
  • Finnish Hymns

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Wheat Juice Cleanse

It’s been 2 years, 6 months, and 15 days under legitimate leadership, and our Leader’s duly appointed Attorney General picked one hell of a Special Prosecutor for our 45th President to enjoy. We’re on the third round of Indictments, and Jack Smith doesn’t even look winded.

Other Titles Considered

  • American Bigelow
  • Willing Stupidity
  • Cactus Truth

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