Ass Wednesday

It’s been 2 years, 1 month, and 4 days under legitimate power, and Faux News is lying in the bed it made. Faux News, owned by Australian Billionaire Rupert Murdoch, has been caught pushing a narrative they knew was false to pursue greater viewership that was being lost to the more fringe right-wing internet media.

Other Titles Considered

  • NASCAR is WOKE
  • Pith in your Mouth
  • Norfolk and Waypal

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Exceptionally Soft Genitalia

It’s been 2 years and 28 days under legitimate leadership, and things won’t stop happening. NORAD has realized that we have an awful lot of UFOs they’ve been ignoring. Object permanence only applies to the GOP when its convenient, and we rediscover that time is still a flat circle.

Other Titles Considered

  • Porno-Net
  • LOL CatGPT
  • Whore Cucks
  • Teenage Meat Packers

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Christian Cinematic Universe

It’s been 2 years and 21 days under the magnificent and illuminating leadership of Dark Brandon. The GOP was played like a piano by an old man, ChatGPT provided incredible original works of writing in real time, and we pulled some references from a brilliant YouTube video by Jenny Nicholson.

Other Titles Considered

  • Vice Principal MkkKarthy
  • Unlubed Birth
  • Allen Edgar Poe

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FCC the Police

It’s been 2 years and 14 days, which aligns us nicely with Valentine’s Day, even if that isn’t for another week or so. Either way, the GOP is in the loving spirit and spreading the joy of anti-Socialism by highlighting all of the failings of Authoritarian Communist regimes. The Chinese are feeling bountiful and sending balloons our way, and Gov DeSantis continues his Wreck-It Ralph pre-Pres Campaign efforts.

Other Titles Considered

  • Indigo Montana
  • Oops, all Karens
  • Taintgenitally
  • Democrat Hero, Rick Scott

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